In an average day, we interact with various types of people. Some kinder than others, but what is interesting is how we allow other people and their attitudes to rub off on us. Those around us influence us more than we realize, especially when someone hurts your feelings.
We have all come in contact with a person who is just happy to be alive. Whether it is a professor or a clerk at the store, they just radiate this infectious positivity and overall happiness. We walk away from these individuals with an extra pep in our step. This is because for a short moment, that person made us smile and our problems seemed much smaller than they did prior to running into them.
The same goes for mean people. You may be having a fine day, happily going along with your life and out of nowhere someone says something hurtful to you. You try to tell yourself it is meaningless or that it doesn’t matter what they think, but it sticks with you.
That hurtful comment they said can stick with you for a while. Hours, weeks, even months, or years can go by where you just can’t seem to let go of what was said.
It is easy to be consumed by another person’s words and start to think of yourself in that same light. You start to become the thing they labeled you as.
It takes a lot of hard work to get to a place where you choose to not allow the opinions of those around you to impact you. It takes a lot of mental strength and training your mind to think and observe in a different way, but it can be done. Over time you will slowly see yourself escaping the negativity and start living a happier, more content life.
Here’s how to deal with the hurt:
Remember that others might be hurting inside.
If someone says something to hurt you, it’s not really about you. As hard as it is, you cannot take it personal. By saying something hurtful, they are releasing their built up hurt onto you. They are sharing their pain because they don’t know how else to cope with it. Whenever you are attacked with negativity and hurtful words, you need to remember that this is a true reflection of the other person and their internal pain and has nothing to do with you.
As you can now identify that the person being mean to you is actually hurting on the inside, you need to choose compassion. Many times, what they say to you is actually how they feel about themselves. They may be jealous or feel intimidated by you and lashing out with hurtful words is the only way they know how to relieve their own pain.
As you have felt pain before too, you must be compassionate towards these people and realize that they are going through something. Hope the best for them. Hope that they can one day see their own pain and choose to change themselves, walking away a more compassionate, kinder person.
Avoid these people.
Learn from this experience and choose to let go of the negative words. Let go of the person the words are coming from too. It would be incredible if everyone was on a journey to better themselves and become kinder to themselves and others. Unfortunately, many people will never get there. Some will never choose to believe that they are the problem. Therefore they will never change their ways.
Trying to help these people sometimes is a lost cause as they refuse to see themselves in that light. At this point, it is best to remove them from your life. Choose to only surround yourself with positive people with your best interest at heart.
Choose to be kind.
After experiencing being hurt, it is easy to think the world is full of mean people. So what does it matter if you’re mean too? It does matter. And the world is not full of mean people. You choose everyday who you will be. Choose to be kind. Choose to be the person that uplifts others, not the one who hurts them.